How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
