you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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