He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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