If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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