I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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