I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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