I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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