theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
