Betty ford says i'm here all night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He felt like a one man threesome
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
