Kiss
Puke
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Still dying that you shit outside
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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