i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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