hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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