just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
