I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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