if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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