He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
