I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
