I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
