Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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