So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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