idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
