She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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