Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We're too hungover to prance.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
