You're so nebulous sometimes
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
well you can't waste a boner
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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