Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
