If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
