dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
