You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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