I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
