I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
