I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
