recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
