im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
