Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
