Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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