Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
