Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
