i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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