Please, let me fuck your mom
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
