So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
