I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
