So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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