So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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