it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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