He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
