i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
