PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
