Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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