I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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