Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
