it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
